Baby Love Journey - Wk 25
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
It's been a long time since I last blog 3 years ago.. A lot of things have happened during these 3 years. Chris proposed to me on 25 Feb 2012 at Citylink and we got married on 23 Dec 2012 at Conrad! 2012 was a very memorable year for me. I love to reminiscence about my wedding day and watch the videos again and again. It reminds me of the love that we share, the guy that I love and the sweet things he does for me. Watching these videos make me relive the moment.
Proposal video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gf74XZJ4pV0
Pre wedding video: http://vimeo.com/56319982
Wedding video: http://vimeo.com/56509170
All of these videos were made by Desmond (Chris's best friend) and I sincerely appreciate the effort he has put in to leave such beautiful memories for us.
Back to what triggered me to start blogging again.. It's definitely not out of the blue or I feel bored. It's because I'm PREGNANT!!! In fact, I'm 6months into my pregnancy now. I've been contemplating to blog for the longest time since I found out about my pregnancy but procrastinated because 1) busy and stressed with work, 2) busy and stressed with marriage life and in-laws, 3) forgotten about the password to this blog and the blog address. It's a miracle that I'm free tonight and I tried 3 attempts of password before I successfully keyed in the right password! I'm free because Chris is away in Taiwan for Holiday with his friends for 2 wks. I'm feeling jealous and upset about it but I figured I should let him go enjoy himself since he has been pretty stressed over my pregnancy too. We've planned for this pregnancy for 1.5years but when I'm finally pregnant, I still wonder if I really want a child now and if I'm ready for a child now.
Pregnancy is full of ups and downs, more downs than ups for me. For the past 6 months I've complained so much and cried so much, feeling tons of unhappiness with life. Questioning why I chose to live with in-laws for a start and wanted to try to get to know them better and live in harmony. It was such a naïve thinking back then!!! A lot of people told me in-laws are not easy to live with and indeed it's HARD. I got what I wanted to know them better but I didn't get what I wanted which was to be close to them (like real family). In-laws will always be in-laws and not like your real family. I will never be able to treat my mother-in-law like my mummy or my father-in-law like my papa. There were also a lot of conflicts along the way due to the differences in family upbringing and culture which wouldn't have happened if we didn't live together. Now I look back, if I have a choice again, I don't think I'll choose to live with in-laws for a start to learn how to be a good daughter-in-law and wife. I think marriage life as a couple (just Chris and me) would have been much happier and sweeter.
2nd unhappiness is when Chris has to fly for work and be away from home at least once a month. In the past, before my pregnancy, when he goes overseas, I'll go back to my mum's home to stay and it's the happiest time of my marriage life. My mum will cook dinner with food that suits my taste, I can watch my favourite Korean dramas in the living room, bathe without having to do my own laundry, wrap myself with my huge towel out of the bathroom to slowly dry myself and choose my clothes in the bedroom. I can enjoy all the little habits I used to have and not have to accommodate to anyone. I can be myself and free!!! However, after I'm pregnant, on top of the enjoyment of freedom, I also start to worry if anything happens to me/baby and Chris won't be able to make it back in time. I start to worry about baby's arrival, how can I cope alone, how to fetch baby around, how to feed the baby, whether I'll have milk, whether I'll have strength/tired after delivery. A lot of fears and thoughts fill my tiny brain, on top of the problems and issues I face in work.
Work has not been smooth for me this year. Although I went US for 3months and had fun playing, work has been stressful. Partners I work with are not easy-going folks and issues at work are complicated to solve. I've also offended many colleagues this year and stressed with all the issues and projects being thrown at me. I wouldn't say I haven't been performing well at work, I've been performing very well in fact and almost became a manager. I was ranked 2nd in the management promotion in Sept, among 7 candidates (all guys and older than me). Pretty proud of this achievement and the opportunity to go for the manager panel interview which was an unforgettable experience for me. So work matters have been keeping me up awake at nights.
I'm also up awake at nights due to pregnancy pain in stomach from the baby kicks and hard tummy. Some nights I wake up at 2am and stay awake till dawn. Insomnia only plagues me when Chris is away. When I sleep beside Chris, I'll fall asleep and wake up at 7am, even though in the middle of the nights I'll wake up to pee and leg cramps due to pregnancy, it's not as bad as having insomnia and waking up at 2am! I hope I can get more sleeps before baby's arrival.
Alright, ending off with happy notes, I would like to Thank a few folks who have been great support for me. Firstly, Wansean and her bf, for accompanying me whenever Chris is overseas. Last sat, they came over to fetch me from my hse to Expo baby fair and helped me carry things and eat and chit-chat with me. I like Wansean and her bf. Hope they'll get married, live happily ever after, and our kids will become good friends as well. Secondly, Shufang and Zihui, for accompanying me whenever Chris is overseas. I've always love my Hall friends a lot because Hall is like my 2nd home, and they are like my Sisters. Last but not least, I want to Thank my Baby Love! He's my greatest strength and accompanies me wherever I go. Please stay healthy in my tummy and continue to grow strong. :)
posted by Zephyr @ 10:39 PM,
